She
by EternalConfusion
Summary: A memory from the past brings back thoughts and feelings that Chris thought he was over...but, she, is not something he can easily get over...especially if he's unwilling to let go...
1. She

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I regret to inform you that I do not own Charmed...however I do own Nic...at least I think I do...well, maybe she owns herself...all I know is that she walked into my head a couple of days back...and well...she's been begging for me to write this down ever since. lol

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Old images from 4 years ago flashed through Chris' mind.

He gasped as he awoke from his sleep. "No, no...why now?" Chris thought out loud, why, after all these years would _she_ now come into his head.

Chris fumbled around and found his wallet, he pulled out a couple of photos, and pulling the back one to the front he half-smiled.

"Nic," He said fondly as he looked at the girl standing in his arms. They looked so happy there...not long after that their world had come crashing down around them...but that was then...He couldn't think about her, not now...not here. Not after everything that had happened since then. No, he'd moved on since then...hadn't he? There had been Bianca, and he'd loved her, he had...but still no-one would never compare to Nicola.

Chris thought back to the day the picture was taken.

;;; Flashback ;;;

Nicola or Nic as Chris called her was wrapped tightly in Chris' arms as their picture was taken. After the flash Chris spun her around and kissed her passionately.

"I love you," She whispered in his ear after they pulled her apart.

"I love you too," Chris said holding her close, never wanting to let go, never wanting to lose her.

Chris guided her over to the nearest bench in the park, and together they sat down, Nic leaning on Chris as his arm was wrapped around her shoulder.

"God, you two are so cute, it's often sickening!" Emily, one of Nic's closest friends, also the one who had taken the photo, said.

"Shut up Emz!" Nic said as she stood up, purely to hit Emily. "Anyways, you and Mitch can be pretty sickening too."

"True." Chris put in.

"Not as sickening as you two..." Emily said shaking her head.

"We're not sickening we're in love...right baby?" Nic said looking back towards Chris.

"Yeah, that's right, and really you and Mitch...you can be pretty damn gross." Chris earned a deadly glare for Emily then as Nicola laughed at her boyfriend.

Soon after it started raining and Nic ran over to Chris.

"Hey lover boy...wanna dance?" She smiled, her dark eyes gleaming mischievously.

"Awww, but Nic...it's raining!" Chris complained.

"And?" She smiled seductively, as she pulled her boyfriend up then started dancing round him. "C'mon Chris...dance with me..." She stuck her bottom lip out trying to look cute.

"You're mad..." Chris said in disbelief.

"Oh, believe me, I know," She said as she walked up to him stopping just inches in front of him. "But you love me for it really."

"Sound pretty sure there."

"That's because I know I'm right," Nicola giggled. Chris stepped forwards, closing the distance between the two and reached his hand out, to tuck a strand of Nic's wet, auburn hair behind her ear. Chris then placed a soft, tender kiss on her lips.

;;; End Flashback ;;;

"No, Chris, no...stop thinking about her now! You can't think about her now, this is not the time, or the place...I...If things were different, then you could think. But you're here for a reason, remember Wyatt? And if you start thinking about Nicola...you won't get to save Wyatt..." Chris tried reasoning with himself...but now that Nic had come into his thoughts, she wasn't going to go away again easily...she never did. But for now, Chris had to concentrate on saving Wyatt, then, and only then could he think about the future and the love of his life.

_She may be the beauty or the beast  
May be the famine or the feast  
May turn each day into a Heaven or a Hell  
She may be the mirror of my dreams  
A smile reflected in a stream  
She may not be what she may seem  
Inside her shell...._

_She, who always seems so happy in a crowd  
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud  
No one's allowed to see them when they cry  
She maybe the love that cannot hope to last  
May come to me from shadows in the past  
That I remember 'till the day I die_

"God Damn it!" Chris yelled in anger as he hit his head against the wall of the back room of P3. "Idiot, idiot, idiot!" No matter how hard he tried for the rest of the night he could just not get that girl out of his head. The one thing Chris really needed he knew he could never have again...and what he needed was her. Nicola. But that would never happen.

_The meaning of my life is  
She....She  
Oh, she....

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**So...What do you think? This is my first stab at a Chris fic...as apposed to a song-fic or my usual P/L stuff... But don't worry people, I'm still a hard core P/L fan, I just had this fic begging to be written!**


	2. A Spirit from the past wellfuturebut Chr...

**Disclaimer: I only own Nicola and the concept of this fic...blah, blah, blah...you know the rest; don't own Charmed yada, yada, yada!

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That morning as Chris woke up; he felt an eerie presence in the room. A chill ran down his spine as he looked around the room. He found nothing. Strangely, he by the eerie presence. 'What the...No, it can't be...can't happen...' Chris sat up right. "Hello?" He asked, just in case there was someone else in the room with him. He got no answer, so he hurriedly got dressed and orbed out of P3.

Chris orbed into the kitchen which was full of the aroma of the breakfast his mother was cooking up, Piper had recently found out that Chris was her son, and seemed very happy by that.

"Chris," Piper greeted her son cheerily. "Breakfast?" Piper asked handing Chris a plate of bacon, eggs and toast.

"Hey mom," Chris said as he sat down with his breakfast. Chris ate his food with great speed before running up the stairs all the way to the attic.

Once in the attic Chris stepped towards the BOS then stopped. Could he really do what he was about to...should he even be allowed? Whatever the consequence, he HAD to see her. He'd do anything to see her one more time...things had ended bad...then...then, she'd...died before he got the chance to tell her how he really felt. Just once, just one more time would do.

Chris made a circle with candles, and lit them; he then stood back and chanted:

"**_Hear these words,  
_**

_**Hear my cry,**_

_**Spirit from the other side, **_

_**Come to me,**_

_**I summon thee,**_

**_Cross now the great divide"_**

Some golden lights appeared, and swirled around before taking the ghostly form of the woman of Chris' dreams...Nicola.

"You rang?" Nicola said softly as she stepped outside the room, taking on her corporal form.

"Uh...yeah..." Chris stuttered.

"Chris...what's wrong? Why am I here?" Nicola asked uncertainly.

"I....I...I, God Nic, I just...I missed you so much..." Chris said pulling her into a hug. A tear ran down his cheek, as he realised just how much he'd missed her, and still loved her.

"Hey..." Nic said softly as she wiped away his tears, "It's okay...I missed you too," She smiled at him.

"Were...were you at P3 earlier?" Chris asked.

"You knew?" She gasped, "I could tell you were unhappy...I knew you needed comfort, I wanted to be there...I wanted to be there with you so bad...but I knew you would only be able to see me if you summoned me...but still, I wanted to ease your pain." Nicola started rambling.

"It's okay...I...I wanted you there; I needed you...and I kinda, felt your presence. And then I knew I just had to summon you. I needed to see you...to talk to you..." Chris said walking over to the window.

"Well...I'm here...so...talk," Nic said as she walked up to Chris, and put a hand on his left shoulder.

"It's just...I wish things didn't happen like they did between us...I mean, we used to be so happy. I don't know what happened, but when we broke up; I was so gutted...I don't think I left my room for days. And with all that happened, I just never got the chance to tell you one last time how I felt...I needed to tell you, but by the time I got the courage, you were already gone..." Chris said as yet another tear rolled down his cheek, he wiped it away and then continued, "I needed to tell you one last time that I loved you...I didn't want you to die not knowing that."

"But Chris...I did know that, I'd always known that, whether we were together or apart. Sure, things didn't work out the way I'd hoped, but the years we spent together were the best years of my life."

"Really?" He asked looking into her dark brown eyes, drinking in every bit of her beauty and how the light hit her auburn hair.

"Yes...but Chris, you need to move on. You can't mourn me forever." Nicola said looking down, she knew the words she spoke were the truth, but she couldn't bare to think of Chris with anyone other than her...and she didn't want to be telling him now, not when he was so...vulnerable.

"No Nic! I...I can't! I've tried...there was Bianca...I thought I loved her, but she was nothing compared to you. No-one ever will compare to you! I can't bare the thought of being with anyone else other than you. I can mourn you forever Nic...I can...I'm not ready to let go yet." Chris said as he turned to face Nicola.

Nicola moved closer to Chris, she stood brought his head down, and kissed his forehead. She ran her hand through his silky short, brown hair.

"Look, Chris...I know you don't want to move on. I get that, and I don't want you to either, but you have to. And you can't mourn me forever. I'm not going to watch you from Up There as you mope around and do nothing all day. And as much as I'd love to stay here and be yours...we both know that can never happen. If you won't do this for yourself, at least do it for me. Okay?"

"Okay," Chris sighed, "But it doesn't mean I'm happy about it!"

"Chris, I'm not asking you to snap back to your old perky self...I'm not asking you to be happy straight away; but you will be one day. I'm just asking you to get on with your life." Nicola said as tears were now making their way down her cheeks. "Look what you've gone and done now..." She chuckled as Chris wiped away her tears with his thumb. Slowly he leaned forward and placed a short, sweet kiss on her lips. Chris stood up to his full height and looked down at her, after everything she still looked so beautiful. He ran a hand through her shoulder-length auburn hair. And in a snap decision Nicola grabbed Chris' head in her hands, and pulled him down kissing him passionately.

"Look at us now...I love you, always have and always will, but what just happened changes nothing...you still have to move on, get over me, please."

"But, Nic..."

"No," She said placing a finger on his lips, he took the chance to kiss it. "You always were a Charmer; I guess some things never change, huh?" She sighed. "No, buts, get over me, move on...and be happy." Nic said smiling weakly.

"Okay...it just hurts so much..."

"I know..." She replied softly.

Just then Piper walked through the door.

"Chris honey..."

"Mom!" Chris said surprised at his Mom's entrance. "What did you want?"

"Oh never mind that...but, who's your friend?" Piper said looking at the young girl standing next to Chris.

"Hi, I'm Nicola...but feel free to call me Nic. And I'm a...uh...umm...kinda friend of Chris..."

"Well, it's great to meet you Nic," Piper said warmly. "Anyway, I'll leave you two to it, and I'll go do some...cleaning, yeah, I'll clean..." Piper said backing out of the attic.

Nicola jogged after Piper, and closed the attic door behind them, leaving Chris confused.

"Piper!"

"Yeah?"

"Please...take care of Chris...make sure he doesn't sulk around to much, make him get out some...tell him to have fun...believe me, he deserves it. But mostly, just look after him, make sure he's happy...I have to go now..." Nic said turning back, and re-entering the attic.

She walked up to Chris.

"I'm sorry...but I have to leave. I love you, move on, and be happy, please..." Nicola begged, just before Chris bent down and kissed her softly, making her knees weak. He really shouldn't have done that, it weakened her, made her want to stay, even though she knew she had to go.

"I love you, forever...but I'll try and move on; I'm not promising though..." Chris said holding her close, one last time.

"I'm not asking you to..."Nicola said as she stepped back into the ring, turning ghostly again.

"I'll miss you Nic...always..."

"Take care Chris," Nicola said as she was circled with bright white, and golden lights, soon just a few golden lights were swirling together upwards.

"Good bye Nicola..."

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**You like? I was pretty proud of this chapter...hell, I'm proud of this whole damn fic so far though...I can't actually say where I'm going with this... Next will probably be some chapter with Piper and Chris talking...mostly about Nic...lol! As for the future of this fic...I'm not sure...but I'm hoping it'll be good...and somehow, Nic'll return...you can be sure! lol  
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**A not to all my reviewers: As I'm in yr 10, the workload has suddenly become significantly more than last year...so my stories may not be updated as frequently as before...although I shall try, and inset days and halfterm and holidays etc, I shall make sure I have some 'Writing Time' lol :P**


	3. Ghost of You

Disclaimer: Not mine, I swear. I wish it was...it would be mine...if the world was perfect. But it's not, so HA! And I do not own the lyrics to the song Ghost Of You...Good Charlotte do.

_Chapter 1:_

Miggs: Yup, it really is my first stab! Hehe ï 


	4. Huhbutyoudeadexplain?

**Disclaimer: Sadly…very sadly I do not own Charmed; Brad Kan't do Sh……..I mean Brad Kern and a whole load of other people own it…and I'm not included! **

**Oh for God's sake! This just getting stupid…you all know I don't own it, so why do I still have to disclaim the damn thing, huh?**

**A/N: YAY! I finally made it here! Now…what to write?

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After what seemed like hours of moping around the backroom of P3 Chris orbed over to the Manor.

He placed himself on a sofa in the living room and sighed heavily. Piper ruffled his hair before sitting next to him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah…I'm fine."

"Chris?"

"What? I said I was fine."

"Who's Nicola?" Piper asked her son.

"Mom, you just met her…she's a friend of mine."

"Uh-huh; a friend…now why do I get the impression that this girl is…was more than a friend to you?"

"I…I don't know…don't wanna talk about it." Chris said getting up.

"Oh no you don't. You're going to sit back down and talk to me, properly Chris." Piper said sternly.

Chris sat back down huffily, "Mom, I REALLY don't want to talk about it, ok? It…it…it just hurts too much…" Chris said thinking about the past, and the dream he'd had the previous night; without knowing it, he'd made a very big mistake.

He'd let his emotions show in front of his family. One single tear trickled down his cheek. Piper was quick to comfort her son, engulfing him in a huge hug.

"Aww, baby; it's okay…shh…it's okay." As Piper comforted him, he was forced to break down, something he didn't want to do, so following that single tear, more came.

Chris told her pretty much everything, he didn't want to…but he knew he had to.

"Aww, I'm sorry you had to go through so much pain Chris."

"Yeah…I dunno, maybe…if I save Wyatt, perhaps things will work out with me and Nic. I want things to…for mini me; I don't want to have not saved a thing." Chris frowned.

"I'm sure things will work out, you'll see." Piper whispered to her son as she held him close.

"Thanks Mom," Chris said before standing and orbing out.

Whilst normally Piper would have stopped him, and told him to get back her, she let him go. He needed his time alone.

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A month had past since Chris had spoken to Piper about Nic, he was still stuck in the past, trying to save Wyatt. He came up with a new demon everyday for his mom and aunts to vanquish, and a new plan for them all to follow.

Whilst Phoebe and Paige remained clueless about Nicola and Chris' past, they complained about the constant chain of demons and vanquishes. It was tiring. Was there really no rest for the wicked?

"Don't demons EVER have a day off?" Paige asked and she stirred her coffee.

"Paige we're protectors of the innocent!" Phoebe relied.

"And?" Paige paused to think, "No-ones innocent 24/7!"

"Paige, you of all people should know by now that demons do not rest." Piper joined the conversation walking in with Wyatt balanced on her hip, another hand resting on her ever-growing stomach.

"The live to constantly reek havoc…and ruin our lives." Phoebe nodded.

"Damn that sucks. Think they'll ever give up?"

"Not a chance hun," Piper said sympathetically. Paige frowned.

Chris chose that moment to dazzle the family with his blinding blue and white orbs.

"There better not be another demon…" Phoebe warned her nephew.

"You should know by now, they come looking for us…" Paige continued.

"Nope, no demons. Breakfast wouldn't be bad though…" Chris hinted.

"Sure, what can I get you Chris?" Piper asked placing Wyatt in his high chair.

"Toast'll do me fine, thanks Mom." Chris smiled before sitting down to his brother and talking to him.

After a while a rumble and a crash was heard from the attic.

"What the?" Chris mumbled with a mouthful of soap.

Chris quickly orbed off, and was then followed by Paige who orbed Piper and Phoebe with her.

They found Chris looking pretty damn shocked. His bottom jaw was almost touching the floor, a thousand questions going through his mind and his eyes were set on one particular thing. Nicola.

"What…how…why…but…You're supposed to be dead!" Chris finally stuttered.

"Great to see you too Chris!" Nic said walking up to him, and kissed his forehead.

"Uhh…guys, I think we should leave these two alone now." Piper said to her sisters, Paige then orbed the three of them away.

"Uh…Nic…you…dead…here…explain." Chris said still shocked from her being in front of him.

"Oh right, that. Sorry babe. You know who you've been back here, in the past I mean?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, you've already changed a lot…" She smiled.

"What do you mean?" Chris asked, finally stringing a whole sentence together.

"I mean, Wyatt's not quite as bad as he was…still bad, just not REALLY evil. Not how you remember it. And me and you…we got married…and…look…" Nicola paused to get a picture out of her pocket.

Chris stared at the picture; it was of two babies…about 9 months old.

"What? I…I'm not getting it."

"They're ours."

"Y…you mean…our babies? I'm a dad?" Chris said barely above a whisper. He pulled Nic in close and gave her a passionate kiss.

"Of course…Megan and Marissa."

Chris grinned, "I love you Nicki…you know that right?"

"Yeah…"

"I've missed you…"

"I know; now…listen carefully. Before you can come home, you need to know, and vanquish who turns Wyatt. We found out…in the future, eventually. It was Gideon." Nic said looking down. She knew even Chris would be reluctant to believe it.

"What…no. He can't of, he's an elder."

"Since when has that mattered to you Christopher?" She smiled mischievously, "Just because he's an Elder…doesn't mean he's good…just means he has a lot of power."

"I know…but still, we trusted him, you know. I should tell mom."

"Yeah…want me to come with?"

"Do you have to ask?" He smiled slightly wrapping his arm round her waist.

Things were certainly looking up; especially since he had Nic back. It wasn't perfect, but at least there's hope.

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**So…the end may be kinda rushed…but meh. Until next time.**

**Oh my god…-Gets down on hands and knees, cried and begs profusely- I AM sooooooo totally sorry that I haven't updated any of my Charmed fics…in well…forever! Man, I love this fic…I'll have to try and write more soon. I had this written away, and well…you guys REALLY deserve a treat. I feel crap…but heh, the fire's not in me. I don't have that same desire within me to write Charmed. I've totally fallen for Jack and Kate in Lost though. Check 'em out. Uh…I'm sorry? And I have a load of half written things around, I will TRY and do something about I swear…**

**Also, can you guys tell me if you can see chapter three or not. Is my browser just being an ass? Coz I can't see below miggs Ch, 1 reply. Hmm...**


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